Pirate Store Portraits

I was commissioned by the lovely people at the Pirate Store in San Francisco to do portraits of current and former employees.   The text on the images is in Latin.  I'll translate it below each portrait.

 "Stand aside peasants, I am on Imperial business!"

 "I did call; maybe your answering machine is broken."

 "You have a piece of spinach between your teeth."

 "I can't hear you, I have a banana in my ear."

 Him:  "To err is human."  Her:  "Shit happens."

 "Don't piss into the wind."

 "Mrow."

 "I'll have a light beer please."

"I sometimes feel the urge to conquer large parts of Europe."